What's your perfect hen party?

The thing that I've learned about hen parties is that not everyone wants the same thing. The two hens I went to this year were polar opposites, but they were both brilliant in their own way. I'm an organising fan, so I usually get somewhat involved, and many a time have I lectured the bride-to-be on not worrying what anyone else wants to do. The truth is that you can't please everyone, so you might as well focus on pleasing the person you are there for. Everyone's there because they love that person, so chances are they'll all have an awesome time anyway. I've never been to a bad hen, so. POINT PROVED.

It's interesting to see what other women would like though at a hen party, and that's my point! Spabreaks sent me some research on hen parties from a survey they did recently, and here are some of the highlights:

What's your preferred type of Hen party?
Relaxing e.g. a weekend spa break - 52.4%
Mixture e.g. a bit of everything - 35.6%
Wild e.g. a wild weekend in Magaluf - 9.2%
Activities e.g. white water rafting or absailing - 2.8%

I am so down with this research. White water rafting sounds both hellish and expensive. If a bride-to-be wanted to do this I would probably try and talk her out of it, totally contradicting my earlier commentary. But, yay! Relaxing things like spa breaks came out on top! Hooray.

When on a hen party, do you live by the rule 'What happens on a hen party stays on the hen party'?
Yes - 70.4%
No - 29.6%

I am now wondering what kind of things the average hen gets up to! That said, I have some hen do photos (and videos) that are NEVER allowed to go public on Facebook. But on other hen dos, the only gossip is about how much we ate.

How much would you pay to go on a Hen Party?
£0 to £50 - 37.2%
£51 to £99 - 31.6%
£100 to £150 - 20.8%
Over £150 - 10.4%

Hen dos can get really expensive, and I've been to more than one where the accommodation alone was £100 each. But that's because it is actually fairly pricey to go away for the weekend and most hen dos are full-weekend deals these days. I think you have to be considerate of people's budgets, and give them the option to choose how long they come for, but to me the point of a hen do is for the bride's best girls to get to know each other before the wedding, or to come back together when they all live apart, so having as long as possible is the best thing. Although, sadly, that puts me in the 10% that would expect a hen to cost over £150. BUT IT'LL BE WORTH IT.

Where would you prefer to have a hen party?
City - 49.6%
Countryside - 32.4%
Overseas - 18.0%

I guess most girls want the night out part, hence the majority choosing city breaks. I always have a great time on that part, but my faovurite bit is always when we're sitting around gossiping. So I think I'd choose countryside, because I just want to hide away with my friends and talk for hours and drink wine and maybe dance around the living room to Britney Spears at 3am. Although we did that overseas back in September, and we had the added bonus of sunshine, a pool and a hot tub. I think South of France might win out every time, tbh.

What do you think? Do you have a dream hen party - whether yours or someone elses? Or is there something amazing you've already done that's impossible to top?

Written in collaboration

8 things you should do first when planning a hen do

So, one of your besties is getting married and you don’t know where to start on the hen do. Don’t worry, love – I’ve been there. Here’s what you need to do.

1. Talk to the bride
I firmly believe that most of the hen do details should be a surprise, even if you’re not planning anything dramatic. But you firstly need to have a chat to your bride-to-be and get an idea of what she wants. Hen dos can be so different. Does she want a tacky hen? Pink cowboy hats and willy-shaped everything? Or does she want something low key? Does she want to go out? Does she want a stripper? Does she want a weekend away or just a night? You don’t have to tell her everything, but get an idea.

2. Run the guestlist past the bride
Most brides will actually give you a list of people to invite, but if not, just make sure you haven’t missed anyone off. Most people have a big group of friends and then a few extras – work buddies, people from uni or school – the last thing you want is to forget someone crucial! Or, worse - invite someone that you really shouldn't have.

3. Decide on a date
Ask the bride for some possibilities, then email all your other hens to find out what everyone can do. Book them in EARLY, before you commit to anything else. The last thing you want is to have to cover someone else’s costs if they can’t make it. Doodle is a great website for getting everyone's dates together.

4. Communicate with the bridesmaids
Assuming that the bridesmaids are doing the planning (although it’s not always the case), you need to make sure you communicate regularly. Make sure you’re all doing your bit, make sure one person isn’t paying for everything, make sure you’re all in this together.

5. Don’t turn down help
If one of the hens attending wants to help, but isn't part of the bridal party – let them help. You’ll be glad of it! And you might get some good insight, especially if you’re going away to somewhere one of them has been before.

6. Work out a budget
It’s incredibly easy to get carried away when planning a hen do, especially if you’re going away. £100 accommodation for a weekend may not sound too bad, but when you add activities and food and drink onto that, you’re looking at a lot more. Plus transport. Try and keep everything, minus spending money, under £150. Obviously it depends what you do, but use that as a guide and make sure all your hens are happy with it. If you let them all know early, you can also get their money in instalments – much friendlier on everyone’s wallet. You may even be able to take their spending money that way too, meaning no one incurs any extra costs when they’re there.

7. Don’t change your plans for one person
Sometimes one person can’t make the hen do, and that’s gutting. But if ten other people can make it, unfortunately you have to go with the majority. If you let one person change your plans, then you’ll keep changing your plans and won’t get anywhere. Unless that one person is the bride, obviously.

8. Don’t overplan
I know, this kind of contradicts point 1-7. But what I mean is, don’t schedule in something to do for every minute of the day. Allow time just to chat, or chill. Or sleep! Nobody wants a weekend that’s go-go-go all the time – people want to rest, too. My favourite part of all the hen dos I’ve been to is when all the hens have just sat together and gossiped and cackled. (If I ever get married, I’m pretty sure that’s all I want to do. Big house + wine = awesome.)

Also, if you’re organising a night out then allow a good two or three hours to get ready, too. It sounds like a lot, but you’ll need them!

Hello!

One of the things I’ve realised as I’ve got older is that I’ve got a lot of friends. Like a LOT. I’ve realised this because suddenly I spend almost every weekend going to weddings or hen dos. Well, that’s an exaggeration – but this year I’ve got five weddings on the cards. It’s not becoming uncommon to go to four or five a year… plus the hen dos.

I’m not complaining though – I actually really love weddings, and I really love hen dos. But I’ve gone to so many hens, and I’ve organised a fair few of them, that I thought it might be worthwhile compiling my experiences somewhere. A big reason why I blog is to share things and provide a resource for people, and with so many more people planning weddings right now, I feel like there’s no time like the present.

 So this is my new blog project – primarily about hen dos, but with a few wedding titbits in there too. I’m not an expert by any means – nor am I married! But hopefully this blog might help you if you’re planning a hen do.

Every month I'll be featuring stories from real life hens, inspiration for activities, games, dares, location spotlights, etc. I haven't been everywhere and I haven't done everything so if you want to contribute, please get in touch! If you're at all interested, I'd love for you to get involved.